Quarter Life Crisis Must-haves

We'll get through this together maybe

I’ll be honest — things are not going well. What started as an eventful January full of possibilities has quickly transitioned into a new month full of unprecedented stress, and I’m finding it harder than usual to bounce back. Maybe that’s because I finally got into my first car accident in Los Angeles (would not recommend), my savings have significantly depleted, and when I think about my future against the backdrop of our current socio-political landscape my throat closes up. My braids are grown out, I can’t stop panic-buying Chipotle, and, to top it all off, I’m in a reading slump — which is unfortunate because I read for my job.

But not all is lost. There are a few things keeping me together amidst this quarter life crisis and I thought I’d share them in case you also need some inspiration. Here are the mundane (albeit realistic) things keeping me afloat:

1. Making up my own rules

One of the best and worst things about being an adult is that we determine our own metrics for success and the path we’ll take to get there. So instead of feeling guilty for not maintaining my space and wellness the way ‘normal’ adults do, I have given myself permission to do things my way. What that looks like is feeling no shame in buying coffee everyday, or mainly eating frozen meals off biodegradable dish ware, or keeping a wet washcloth and mouthwash by my nightstand when I can’t do a full night routine, or saying ‘no’ to outings and work past 5pm, or Instacarting groceries when I’m overstimulated, or doing the laundry once a month. I don’t even know if these *aren’t* normal, but they go against the image I’ve envisioned of a well adjusted adult who has their shit together so I’m proud of my progress.

2. Book buying + advance reader copies

Once you accept that reading and book collecting are two distinct hobbies, it makes it easier to splurge on a $28 hardcover with no plan to read it immediately. Here’s a mix of recent purchases and ARCs I’m excited to read at some point:

• Bad Eminence by James Greer

• The Right to Sex by Amia Srinivasan

• Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

• Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby

3. Going to bed at 10:30pm

It’s generally understood that the first step to leading a healthier life is focusing on the basics: diet, exercise, and sleep. I’ve been going to bed earlier than my standard 12:00am, mainly because I have nothing else to do — and while I wake up most nights during the witching hour, too afraid to get out of bed and grab water because a demon might snatch me right out of my 450sq foot studio, my body has gotten used to a routine that keeps me energized for most of the day.

4. Ethel Cain memes

5. Bitching + intentional disassociation

There are many methods of bitching and I’m taking advantage of them all: by journaling, commiserating with friends and family, and posting about it online. Spreading the complaints around ensures that it doesn’t overwhelm a single source, and it’s also helped me become more vulnerable with the people who love me the most or whatever. When that doesn’t work an hour or two of doom scrolling on TikTok is always helpful.

6. The Last of Us

When I’m feeling particularly uninspired by television I watch gameplays on Youtube. Imagine my surprise when I started rewatching The Last of Us, only to discover that the television adaptation had finally come out with the incredibly sexy Pedro Pascal starring as Joel Miller. Neil Druckmann has also done a fantastic job bringing some of the most well-known scenes in the franchise to life, striking a balance between naturally expanding upon storylines and catering to the existing fanbase.

What are you doing to get by these days? I want to hear from you.

K